Reflections on hurt, fear and love

A few weeks ago when the civil unrest began in our country, I remained silent. I didn’t want to take sides. I didn’t want to pretend that I knew enough on a subject to write coherently about a situation that in reality, I knew nothing about. I didn’t want to say something ill advised, stupid or inconsiderate in an already tense situation. I thought that keeping quiet would be my best choice.

After nearly 2 weeks of continually violent episodes all around the world – many in my home state of Louisiana, I’ve decided to break my silence. My heart is broken, y’all. How much more are we going to hurt one another before this awful behavior stops? I feel like we’re at war with ourselves. There’s no other way to describe how heartbreaking this is to watch unfold.

Reflections on hurt, fear and love

Reflections on hurt, fear and love

I’m not one of these people who overdoses on news. I actually make a conscious effort NOT to watch the news. I do this for my own peace of mind. I find that my experience is that news outlets generate drama and hook me into their stories, which just generates more anxiety and strife. I’ve decided that it’s before for me to not allow myself to get sucked into the media black hole.

However, I’ve done a great deal of thinking over these past few weeks and I wanted to offer a few insights about what I see happening from my viewpoint. Throughout these scenarios, I see 2 things coming up again + again: fear and hurt.

There’s a belief that: “People who are hurting, hurt other people”. I wrote in yesterday’s post that I’ve had a rough time during the past 3 years. Much of the hurt that’s been caused in my life was mainly due to people who were deeply hurting, but were unable to recognize it. They weren’t aware of the deep hurt nor were they aware of how to heal that hurt. In turn, their actions hurt others. If you are hurting, I urge you to find someone who can help you heal that hurt. Healing is first and foremost for yourself, but in healing you may also save others from hurtful events in the future.

Fear is common denominator I theorize is at work here, too. Fear is is defined as “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.” 

I think Ghandi said it best when he stated:  “The enemy is fear. We think it is hate; but, it is fear.”

I’m speaking from experience when I say that fear can be terrifying and paralyzing. If you allow it to control you, it will slowly rob you of your freedom. You will become a prisoner in your own mind and you might view nearly everyone and everything as a threat.

I’ve also read about a theory that all choices are rooted in either fear or love. The following excerpt from Marianne Williamson’s book summarizes the difference in acting out of fear vs. love produces.

“Love in your mind produces love in your life.

This is the meaning of heaven.

Fear in your mind produces fear in your life.

This is the meaning of hell.”
Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”

A wise person recently advised me to “be curious”, so I’m going to pass along their advice to you as well.  In the coming days + weeks, I urge you to be curious. Take notice of your thoughts. Are you making decisions out of fear or out of love?

My heart goes out to all who have been affected by the recent tragedies – on all sides of the story. I hope that you are surrounded by love and support. That your hearts will be healed and that you will choose love over fear.

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